there's no such thing as a free lunch

Why must free drinks always taste like water?

Why is it that free pizza always tastes like cheese, just crust and cheese?

And the most probing question of all:
Knowing that we will be served free water and melted cheese, why do we still turn up to events promising free drinks and free pizza with the expectation that they will in fact taste of alcohol and pepperoni?

Albert Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. We are a generation of party-going nutters.