there's no such thing as a free lunch

Why must free drinks always taste like water?

Why is it that free pizza always tastes like cheese, just crust and cheese?

And the most probing question of all:
Knowing that we will be served free water and melted cheese, why do we still turn up to events promising free drinks and free pizza with the expectation that they will in fact taste of alcohol and pepperoni?

Albert Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. We are a generation of party-going nutters.

Pow-Wow

“But women never know when the curtain has fallen. They always want a sixth act, and as soon as the interest of the play is entirely over they propose to continue it.”
Lord Henry to Dorian, The Picture of Dorian Gray (Oscar Wilde, 1890)

It is a universal truth that when it comes to douchebags, women just can’t let go. This phenomenon, otherwise known as Doormat Syndrome, is as common as the, er, common cold. Now I’m not a man-hater by any stroke of the imagination. I visibly cringe at feminists' remonstrations to the sisterhood to unite against people who are not in the feminist sisterhood. Nevertheless, when I was recently stood up for the third time by the same guy and STILL wanted to call him, I did feel the need for a little girl-power pow-wow. So, this one's for the girls . . .

Doormat Syndrome has many faces; Needy Girl, Naive Girl, and the Masochist are but a few. Personally, I'm your garden-variety Fixer, that being a woman who thinks she can save the world, one jerk at a time (no pun intended).

Fixers turn people into projects. They are the ones who say such ridiculous things as “he will change because he loves me,” and “ I think I should give him one more chance,” and “but underneath all the B.S he’s really a good person.” They unwittingly attract human train-wrecks and go to work at once on putting them back together again. The shittier the man’s behaviour is, the more necessary the Fixer believes herself to be to him, and the harder it is for her to down tools and move on.

Luckily Doormat Syndrome in all its manifestations is not terminal. He’s Just Not That Into You (in either book or movie format) is recommended in initial stages of recovery, as is vigorous discussion of the offender’s douchbaggery with friends over a glass of wine. If you lack self-control, deleting his number will prevent drunken texting. Ladies, take your cue from Oscar Wilde and let the damn curtain fall.

this will be fun

What: Pete Versus Toby summer range launch
Where: Ivy Pool
Wear: As little as possible (30 degrees people, 30 degrees!)
When: from 1pm
Perks: drinks are freeeeeee til threeeeeee


Outside the PVT store in Bondi

The PVT boys set up shop on Curlewis St in Bondi a good year or so ago (a lopsided mash up of office, shop and hang-out goings on) and are seeing the beginnings of a cult following with their tongue in cheek tees and quirky prints. They remind me of the early days Ksubi crew only with less hype - relaxed, artistic and a wee bit 'devil may care'.

Anyone who calls their new range ailartsuA Dreaming (I'm assuming copious amounts of weed were involved in the range naming process?) is surely the thrower of good parties and so this coming hot, hot Sunday, the Pool is where I shall be. If you want to come too make sure to RSVP to ivy@peteversustoby.com


So are you coming? Don't say no. That would be so uncool.

Punctuation.

If only there was such a thing as a CAPITAL EXCLAMATION MARK, I would use it all the time(!).

Flash Mob hits Bondi Beach

The whole flash mob thing's probably getting a bit tired - there's been a slew of half-arsed, badly done mob dances lately - but this latest one is cute, mostly thanks to Mr Red Budgie Smugglers, who gets the whole thing started.

Crazy, this whole thing happened four days ago while I was at work only 200m away, and yet I first heard about it on the net.



My ALL-TIME favourite flash mob video:



Fancy being a mobster? Visit the official website for worldwide flash mob updates.

Highbrow Goodtimes on Low Dorra Budget

Good news, people. For the piddling price of a Goldclass movie ticket, highbrow 20-somethings can indulge in a night at the theatre, thanks to Sydney Theatre Company's policy of offering $30 tickets to under 30s.

Coupon-clipper that I am, this year I have taken full advantage of STC’s overt ageism. Seeing Cate Blanchett in full force on stage (first in War Of The Roses and then in A Streetcar Named Desire) was worth the ticket price alone.

Next on my ‘to see for thirty bucks’ list is The Mysteries: Genesis. Back in times medieval the masses couldn’t read, so Bible stories (ie: The Mysteries) were performed on wooden carts in village squares, and that is how people learnt that Eve was a sneaky wench and Cain was a murderous douche. The Mysteries are the very antithesis of the King James Bible’s court language. Raucous, rollicking, theatre for the everyman. Book tickets to STC’s reimagined Mysteries here.


Smart people buy cheap tickets to the theatre

Incu presents Topshop and Topman

Two months ago I was in London and practically raped and pillaged Topshop, only to return two days later and find the three floors of entirely new stock. Blimey. You can literally shop till you drop in London and then some.

When I heard Incu was bringing Topshop and Topman downunder I was curious - how will a high turnover business model like Topshop work in such a tiny market, especially when selling from the racks of what is known as being more of a boutique, higher end store? The launch last week was much talked about but will it translate to sales?

I waited out the weekend and ducked in today to flick through the racks, looking for telltale signs of frantic ransacking, but no. There was plenty of stock. Every size in every style was neatly displayed, boutique style, and in a way I was quite disappointed - this is not the Topshop experience! I should be elbowing some minger out of the way to get the last size 8. If the slag beats me to the punch I should miss out and have to wait two whole days for the next shipment to arrive. This is how Topshop works, this is the thrill of it!

The prices are on par with UK prices, which is pretty darn good considering that it's apparently bloody expensive to import. That said, 20 quid sounds so much cheaper than $40, even though they're one and the same. The buyer's done a pretty good job in terms of the selection although, just quietly, some of the pieces in Incu right now are items that I saw in Topshop last season. Which means that they may well be on sale online. Like the Kate Moss Halter Mesh Dress. Maybe (definitely).

Overall I am ambivalent. It looks like Topshop, it smells like Topshop, but at the end of the day it's still just Incu selling things that the Northern Hemisphere got to buy/wear/get over months ago. I still wonder if it will be a money-spinner long term, or if the novelty will wear off and highstreet shoppers will just go back to their Sportsgirl bargain dumpbins. I did buy a cute top . . .


My new top, $40 at Incu Oxford St


Kate Moss for Topshop dress, $120 instore at Incu
or 35 pounds (approx $70) at www.topshop.com